Perspective

The past two days have gone surprisingly well. I think that my reprioritizing has really made a difference.

It's interesting because nothing has really change...not externally. Work is still crazy. Monday consisted of back to back meetings and me eating lunch quickly before the doors opened to let in the kids. It was followed by the usual craziness...running to the school district offices to pay for buses for this week's field trip...trekking out to Orem to the discount bread store to procure snack since our regular snack provider has not been providing...dealing with crazy kids...forgetting that I had scheduled mid-year evaluations....

But it was a great day. I came home, opened up my books for class (that I paid $75 to have Next Day Aired so I'd get them in time), ate dinner, watched an edited version of Derailed (not really worth the time, although it did finally get interesting at the end), and then spending time with Nathan.

Today I spent the morning in a Youth Council meeting for the Mountainland Region of Utah. I wore my pretty blue Banana Republic schoolteacher/librarian/1950s dress with my brown Mary Jane heels, Liz's gold bow headband, my gold Michael Kors watch, and my cream Coach purse...I was dressed for the part. As I sat down behind my name, saw my brand new business card holder made out of amber (I don't actually have business cards despite having worked at the BGC since October...it hasn't really been a priority), and looked over the day's agenda, I realized that I actually was a grown-up. I was on a council. I hadn't just dressed the part, I WAS the part. It was a little surreal. Especially when I remembered that I am running unopposed for the Communication Chair of the National Association for Drama Therapy (soon to be the North American Association for Drama Therapy)...another grown-up responsibility.

After the meeting, which ran late, I rushed to the Club to train my new hire (I use the word "train" loosely...it's more like trial by fire for her) before I had to run to pick up kids. Michelle had the day off, which meant that our tag team duty of getting the field trip ready (her job although I sometimes help) and dealing with the chaos of the Club (my job although she sometimes helps) fell to just me. And when I say chaos, I mean chaos. The day started with a bloody nose three minutes before the Club opened. Caitlin took care of that (it involved a tampon...our second one this year!) while I picked up kids.

When I got back, I dealt with the discussion of the bloody nose, and once that was over, I got everyone the necessary information for the field trip and then assigned a staff member to be in charge so that I could run to the Food Bank to pick up today's (and tomorrow's ) snacks. I came back to a little craziness.

I didn't have much of a lunch today. I mostly just ate here and there when I could. Which didn't help the tiredness and the headache I had today (I forgot to eat protein). But I must say, I resisted the urge to drink a diet coke at my meeting this morning...that makes four days with no caffeine!

My point in all of this isn't to just blog about my past two days. My point is that both days were super crazy and nonstop, just like all the other days. The difference was ME. My priorities were different...my day started differently...my perspective is different.

It's amazing how much that has helped. It has put me in a position to do my job better. In the past two days, whether I was with staff or with kids, I have been more focused, I have been a better listener, and I have been more present. I was able to do my job better because my outlook was different. Externally, nothing has change. The change has been internal.

I know it's only been two days. Life is bound to get overwhelming again and I am bound to lose perspective and feel like the external is controlling the internal. But for yesterday and today that is not the case.

I feel very blessed right now. I feel very lucky to be where I am...physically, spiritually, and emotionally. There is room for growth. I am only human. But I'm in a good place.

I write this, tired from a long day, with at least two hours of homework ahead of me when I really just want to crash. Tomorrow is full of craziness...two interviews, a meeting with my boss, and then a field trip to the pool, followed by a third late day in a row (Michelle and I switch off but I took her day today), followed by a two hour sewing class...in which I am behind because I missed last week and have not found time to catch up on my own. I should feel overwhelmed and stressed, but I'm not. My work will get done, my pajama pants will get sewn, and I'll work on my tan tomorrow assuming all goes well.

Plus, I just ate two dark chocolate Doves, courtesy of Nathan. Chocolate always helps.